Chicken Pox Parties?!

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Wow, let's jump right in here should we? Obviously this post is gonna set me up for all kinds of fun comments so all we can do is give our opinions and I think we actually have different opinions on this so you might get a two-for-one post sort of deal!

A chicken pox party is something we would have done years and years ago, I can see my mom taking me to one actually! Let me be the first to say I am not sure I am behind the whole "chicken pox vaccine" thing but I am 100% behind vaccines. I am one of those people that thinks the "proof is in the pudding" so to speak and until I see an actual, physical study done by the AMA that shows a link between autism and vaccines I am going to vaccinate my kids, period. I do know people who don't. One person I know lost a child to a vaccine reaction and she has a perfectly valid reason for not vaccinating her other two kids. I just prefer to go the other direction. Would I attend a Chicken Pox party? No, but that's because my kids are vaccinated. Would my mom have sent me? HECK YEAH!!

On the subject of the chicken pox vaccine itself, I am not fully behind it. My kids had it because it's common practice at their pediatric clinic. Given a choice I might have opted out. I am glad I didn't have to make the choice. I know I'm a horrible coward! There is also no proof the chicken pox vaccine is effective life long. We do know chicken pox in adults can be deadly, so without that proof I was not behind the vaccine. I prefer not to lose my daughter at age 20 because she was exposed to a childhood illness at that time and the vaccine had worn off! So again I say given the choice I would have opted out and let the chips fall where they may. Coward, coward, coward, I know!

I did not opt for the pneumonia vaccine, the ear infection vaccine, etc... nor will I. Why not? Because kids MUST have some immunities! If we vaccinate them against everything then a vaccine resistant bug will kill them. It's common sense. It's the same reason I don't believe in anti-bacterial hand sanitizers, and I don't care if my kids are exposed to a bug at McDonald's play land. If they aren't exposed at some point they will be at school and then a minor bug becomes something very serious. You can't keep your kids in a bubble and keep them healthy forever. Let them get the sniffles people! We all lived through it and so will they!

Why do I feel the way I do regarding vaccines as a whole?

1. The diseases we vaccinate against are deadly. They are deadly to my children and any children they might come in to contact with should they acquire one.
   
2. The percentage of children who react to vaccines is small. If it were over 50% I might re-think but there's a good chance my kids will not react and a much greater chance they won't get a life threatening illness if I vaccinate. Simple math for me, not a hard decision.
3. My mom works in the health care field, I've seen it all, I've seen children die from a lack of a vaccine and I've seen them spread a terrible disease. I will not be responsible for the death of any children, especially my own.
4. As the woman in the video says, autism is not deadly, while measles very often is.

So there you have it. Comments are open and I'd love to hear your opinions for and against vaccines, for and against chicken pox, for and against the medical community as a whole! Let er' rip!

Parenting a child with OCD

We've been asked by dam to help with parenting a child with OCD. So here are our tips and we're hoping our readers will offer their own in the comments section!

First and foremost you must keep in mind OCD is an actual medical condition, it's not necessarily bad, but it can be an indication of mild autism or another illness. A lot of times OCD can be related to stressors in the home, loss of a parent or other loved one, an "out of control lifestyle" or it can be an indication of problems at school such as a bully. Your first step should always be to find the root cause of the OCD. Then and only then can you begin to understand your child and parent appropriately.

So you need to ask yourself "what's causing this?" what has changed recently? Is it a condition they've exhibited lifelong or something new? If it's new, think back, ask yourself what changed around the times of the symptoms. If it's lifelong chances are it's related to a deficit of some kind and it can be a symptom of a myriad of mental deficits.

So my first suggestion to you is to speak to your family physician about this and then perhaps take it a step further and seek out a mental health professional.

After you've done that we get to the nitty gritty of parenting this child.

The most important thing to remember is, no matter what the root cause your child can NOT help it. You have to have an insane amount of patience for them. Don't break their cycle, that could cause them to begin to express their OCD tendencies in other more serious ways like eating their hair, biting their nails, cutting themselves, etc... So if it's something small like repeated hand washing, let them do it!

To break the cycle takes time, patience, and an ability to understand the condition. If your child needs to wash his hands 6 times it's not going to kill anyone. But do try to slowly move away. Maybe say "hey Fred, let's go on a trip to the library" while he's in the middle of his cycle. Don't reward him because he won't understand it. But do switch his focus to something else. You might find he's changed his pattern because he wants to take that trip to the library!

Unfortunately the best advice we can give you is to try to alter the cycles in a quiet and non-intrusive way, or truly just live with them, but most importantly seek help from a professional to make sure there's not another very serious cause of the OCD.

I am OCD and have been forever, it's linked to a chronic depression I have suffered since I was a teenager. I am old enough to understand it and try to alter my cycles but it's not easy on myself or the people around me. Just ask my co-author! So while I have a myriad of advice to offer on how to break your own OCD cycles, I just wouldn't want to be liable for making the condition worse in a child or causing you to overlook what could be a serious medical condition.

If you want to come back after they've ruled out the common causes then I'll be happy to tell you how I try to alter my cycles. :)

AHHHHH!

What do you do when life is overwhelming you?

You've had a trauma, the kids are sick, work is dragging you down, or you're a stay at home mom and feel like you've lost your personal identity and all that's left is "MOM!"?

Many women feel overwhelmed. Whether you're a stay at home mom, a working mom, a soccer mom, or even if you're just trying to conceive, life can just blast you at times. So how do you cope?

For many moms the stigma of "depression" is terrifying. You worry people will look down on you. You worry you'll bump in to an old classmate while you're at the pharmacy in your sweats with greasy hair and no makeup on and the pharmacist will say "Mrs. X here's your Prozac do you know how to use it?".

Well let me just tell you, you're not alone and there is help out there!

If you're feeling overwhelmed but not quite to the point you feel you need professional help then here's what might help:

1. BREATHE - take 5 minutes, lock yourself in a quiet room and breathe deeply for those 5 minutes! Tell yourself whatever you like during this time but just use it for you.

2. Get plenty of sleep. Sleep deprivation is a major depression trigger. If you want to watch CSI New York but the kids are in bed and you're exhausted, just walk away from the TV or better yet, use the DVR and watch it next time you fold laundry. Whatever you do, find a way to sleep. Got a new baby? Sleep when the baby sleeps. The laundry will be there in 2 hours. If you get run down you'll get even more depressed and even worse, you could get physically ill as it destroys your resistance to common germs.

3. Get outside! Sunshine is actually a proven depression treatment! Sunlight releases chemicals in to your body that can physically help to lift your mood.

4. Take a walk, jump on the Wii fit, take a Yoga class, whatever you choose, but exercise is also proven to treat depression.

5. Call in reinforcements. Leave the kids with dad and go for a nice walk somewhere quiet. Take a hot bath with a good book. Go to bed early with a good book. Send the kids to grandma's house for a date with your husband. Whatever you do, make sure you take at least some time for you. A depressed mommy is not doing anyone any good.

Being depressed can actually cause marital problems so you need to make sure you are finding time for just the 2 of you, even if you don't feel up to it and you're feeling very resentful of your husband. Make sure to speak to him calmly and openly about your feelings.

You have to make the choice to keep moving on. A major sign of depression is fatigue and a lack of desire to do anything at all. If you're normally a neat freak and your house is a disaster and you're walking over things you would normally just bend down and pick up, then you could be depressed. If you oversleep in the mornings and have to rush you could be depressed. If you lose patience more quickly you could be depressed. If you're suffering from insomnia, aches, pains, and headaches you could be depressed.

If any of those sound like you then you need to follow the steps above and also seek some kind of professional help. There's NO shame in seeking help. Many mothers need that help. Your body chemistry changes with each child and it can be very common to suffer from bouts of depression after having children. It's not necessarily the "Baby Blues" it could just be a mild depression you can't shake on your own. Speak to your doctor before it gets worse and explore your options.

Then get up and get out and I promise you'll feel better.

Next post we'll talk about breaking large tasks in to smaller ones to help manage your depression as well.

Are you depressed? How do you handle it?

More parenting videos on JuiceBoxJungle

So my friends over at Juice Box Jungle have this great video this week about losing your temper!

Have you ever lost your temper? I know I sure have!

Have you ever thought to yourself "I can totally see why some animal species dump their offspring at 6 weeks old"?

Well you're not alone at all, but what makes us different from the animals mentioned above is we just can't dump our kids at 6 weeks old. So how do we cope?

I don't know about you but here's how I cope:

1. I count to 10

2. If that doesn't work I go to my bedroom, shut and lock the door, and count to 10 again.

Usually that does the trick.

If those don't work?

I either call on dad to get involved, I go outside and breathe for a few minutes, or if my husband is home I'll go take a nice hot bath with a nice book or magazine.

I believe these are good techniques because they not only help me separate myself from the dogs, but they also allow me to teach my kids proper anger management.

That doesn't mean I am always able to do these things. There are times I am at my wit's end and I can't get away and I've lost my temper and yelled. We have all done it. If that happens I just apologize and say "mommy didn't mean to yell but you're behavior today has been very naughty and mommy would really appreciate it if you could try to help her fix that". Then we'll pop in a movie and snuggle. After I have a big glass of wine and that 10 minutes out of course!

How do you cope? Have you lost your temper? Done something you regret? Tell us about it!

A Very Happy Easter to All!

A very Happy Easter to all! May your day be filled with fun, family, and love!

Spring cleaning without the frenzy!

Spring cleaning is one of those things we all hate to do but really if you look at it in another context it can be such a good thing! I know you're thinking we're totally insane, but I swear we're not! Let me tell you why:

1. Spring cleaning is one of the best ways to battle depression, seasonal effective disorder, and anxiety issues. Sitting around in a house full of clutter and dirt is just plain bad for you! Something as simple as cleaning your windows and throwing out that pile of un-paid bills on your desk can really lift your spirits!

2. Spring cleaning can help you feel better physically as well, dust and grime build up during the Winter months, your furnace filter is full of all of the gunk the wind blows in, your couches and bed are full of dust mites, and you've been shedding that dry, flaky Winter skin all over the place!

So, let's get to it! Here are our tips for making your Spring cleaning most effective and less stressful!

1. Break it in to small jobs. Make a list of everything you want to do. Go room to room or task to task. Write it down, print out a computer page, whatever you want to do, but give yourself a visual aide! Don't let it daunt you when you see it all written out, by breaking it down this way you will feel a bigger sense of accomplishment as you can check off each smaller task more quickly! Instant gratification people!

2. Finish one job before starting another! This somewhat goes hand in hand with the above, but also it keeps your tasks streamlined and less overwhelming. If you're starting with the closets then completely finish them! If you don't you'll further clutter each room and make those tasks even more daunting! Start it, and finish it!

3. Stock up on trash bags, buy a cheap shredder, and go to town! The rule of de-cluttering is "if you haven't used it in a year you don't need it!". All of those bills you've been filing away for years? Toss them! The IRS doesn't care about your phone bills, utility bills, grocery receipts, etc... Unless you're running a home business and writing those things off then toss them! Keep the 2 most recent so you can compare in case your utility company overcharges you, or you need to return something, and toss the rest! Clutter is very un-healthy, it can seem extremely overwhelming, especially if you're like a lot of people and really struggling to pay those bills! Things you need to keep are:

A. Explanation of Benefits from your insurance companies and pharmacy. You have to keep those for 5 years, keep the most recent in a file box or cabinet and the rest file in to a banker's box and store it out of sight and out of mind.

B. Checking account statements and credit card statements for the last year and the current year. In a pinch these will serve as a receipt or "proof of purchase" in case of an insurance or warranty claim.

C. Warranties on big ticket items. If it's a $50 radio is it really worth keeping the warranty information? That's something you have to decide for yourself!

D. Coupons, if they're expired toss them. If they're not then get a shoebox and some poster board. Separate them in to the shoe box by category and file them away. Make sure you pull them out when making grocery lists, etc... and when you do that, go through them to toss any that are expired.

E. Relevant tax information, this doesn't include pay stubs, you don't have to save pay stubs unless you need to show proof of what you paid in a Flex spending account, you need a balance for a 401K, or you need to be able to show proof of insurance premiums deducted from your paycheck. If it's a straight pay stub then toss it. Also keep in mind, most employers keep them online now so you can actually pull them up and print them right before you file your taxes, thus reducing clutter! Keep your escrow statements, mortgage interest statements, and property tax statements.

F. If you want to save your kids' paperwork like report cards, certificates, awards, etc... I suggest scrap booking or even just using a 3 hole punch to place them in a binder for each kid. Also, as cute as it is, you just can't keep every single picture they draw, or school paper with an A+ on it. Keep the first ones, keep the ones that you are really touched by, keep those you think they will like to look back on, and toss the rest.

A few things you need to keep but should be kept in either a fire proof safe or outside of your home in a Safe Deposit Box, these things include:

1. Social Security Cards
2. Insurance policies (trust me on this one!!)
3. Legal documents
4. Wills
5. Titles for vehicles or deeds to property
6. Birth Certificates

4. Those un-paid bills and parking tickets reminders? Keep the most recent one and toss the rest! If you haven't paid it in 6 months you're just being reminded of it. Trust me they'll remind you a little less nicely each month so just keep the most recent!

I promise if you follow these suggestions you'll feel much more organized and much less overwhelmed!

4. De-Dust! Change your furnace filters, wipe all furniture down with a mild detergent or bleach water, wash walls, clean windows (inside for now, outside comes in the Summer), do the same with your picture frames, knick knacks, etc...

5. Spring cleaning time is a great time to replace the batteries in your smoke detectors and CO2 detectors, also be sure to test them at the same time!

6. Go green! While you're Spring cleaning, swap all of your energy hogging bulbs for fluorescent bulbs. They take some getting used to but I swear they're not horrible once you get used to them having to warm up. Set up a recycling station, make sure you don't place any papers from your de-cluttering (see above) in to the shredder before placing them in the paper bin. If you come across a piece of furniture, knick knack, or book you don't need anymore, take it to a consignment store, a thrift store, pass it on to a friend who might like it, or donate it to Good Will. Don't throw it away!! It will sit forever in a landfill when it could be someone else's treasure! Do the same with clothes and shoes. If they're in decent condition pass them on! The same applies if you're looking for that perfect piece to add to your house, try thrift stores, garage sales, and consignment stores! You might find something you have always wanted that has been gently used (or even heavily used) but can be refinished and added to your home!

7. Vacuum well and rent a steam cleaner if you don't own one. Use extremely hot water and clean your furniture and floors with it. You'll get rid of any dust mites and all that dry, flaky, Winter skin you've all been shedding!

8. Vacuum mattresses and wash pillows for the same reasons listed above!

9. BLEACH everything you can! If you don't like Bleach then use a green, anti-bacterial product and the hottest water you can stand. Use it on hard floors, doorknobs, walls, and all of your surfaces! It will kill the germs left over from Flu season!

10. Make sure you clean your blinds and hanging decorative items, they'll harbor those dust mites too!

Those are our suggestions for making your home a cleaner, happier place after a LONG Winter! Don't forget to break it in to smaller tasks so you don't completely overwhelm yourself, and have a ball checking those tasks off one at a time! Also remember, Rome wasn't built in a day and your house wasn't dirtied in a day, don't overdo it, give yourself a weekend, a week, etc... how ever long it will honestly take you. And make sure to involve the WHOLE family! They made the mess too, they can help clean it up! It won't kill your 9 year old to grab that broom or that rag! Even your toddler can help you by putting their things away and using damp paper towels to clean behind you! If they're anything like mine they'll just be happy to be included!!

Comments are open for anyone else wanting to share their Spring cleaning hints and tips!

Un-Commercializing Easter

Easter has gone the way of just about every other holiday we have. Instead of celebrating it for what it is, we have commercialized it. Some kids today think Easter is about a visit from the Easter Bunny and large gifts, they don't even realize why Easter is a holiday!

So how can you un-commercialize Easter, have a great day with your family, and teach your kids the meaning of Easter?

Let's break this down in to two parts:

Putting the meaning of Easter back in to Easter (note this is based on the religion behind the holiday, if you're not religious or your religion doesn't recognize Easter then skip it):

1. Attend a sunrise service. Whether it's held at your church, someone else's church, or is a community service. Take your kids, discuss it with them afterward.

2. Go to the bookstore and find "The Easter Story" for kids. There are many options out there, you can find them at most bookstores or any Christian bookstore.

Now let's talk about how not to break the bank:

1. Easter baskets don't have to be baskets, they can be functional too! Spend $3 on a colored plastic tote with a lid that you can later use to store their toys, goodies, or things like socks, shoes, etc... You can find them at any store like Dollar General, Family Dollar, Wal-Mart, or K-Mart

2. Shop the dollar stores! Think about what you can get for your child that will be fun, educational, useful, and that you can use later on for family activities! My suggestions are:

A. For younger kids (toddlers) - Crayons, Markers, Coloring books, PlayDoh. Really want to save money? Make your own PlayDoh for them! You can find the recipe online by searching Google and you can use food coloring for a huge color variety! Instead of buying kits for PlayDoh use, go to the dollar store and buy cookie cutters, plastic silverware, plastic cups, plastic bowls, etc... Hours and hours of family fun! Worried about the mess? Let the PlayDoh dry and vaccuum or sweep it up! It's non-toxic, if they pick it off the floor you're not going to jail for it I swear!

B. For older kids, try books, board games, packets of construction paper, glue, scissors, etc... You'll be surprised how just about any kid can get tons of use out of those simple things! If they're really not in to reading and creating, then try something small like Matchbox cars or even a DVD movie for $15.

3. Don't be afraid to add candy, it's cheap and easy! Yes there's an epidemic of childhood obesity in this country but I highly doubt a chocolate bunny, jelly beans, etc... at Easter is going to cause them to become obese or add to the problem! If you're worried about their teeth then add a cheap character toothbrush and new character toothpaste to the basket! For added fun, buy cheap plastic eggs, fill them with candy, and hide them with the dyed eggs the kids find in the morning! If you're dead set against candy try fruit snacks, dried fruit packets, and things like that!

Finally, use Easter as a way to teach your kids to give back to the community and their family! Holidays are a great time to teach your kids to help those less fortunate! Even if you feel you're one of those less fortunate, there's always a family worse off than you!

Some ideas:

1. Put together little baskets or boxes of goodies for homeless or needy children. Fill them with small things from the dollar store or homemade goodies. Take a shoe box and some construction paper and let the kids decorate them! Make sure if you use homemade goodies you let the kids help! Then you and the kids make the deliveries together!

2. Spend Easter afternoon picking up litter in a local park, or planting Spring bulbs (or if you're in a mild climate plant something you know can live in your yard), or even volunteering to walk dogs for your local animal shelter or vet clinic. Easter is also a good time to start indoor seedlings you will plant outside after the last frost. Buy seed packets, soil, and some see through plastic cups and plant a windowsill garden with herbs and vegetables. The added bonus is you'll be able to snip the herbs to use in meals in a couple of weeks or you can transplant the vegetables in a few weeks after the last frost. Using plastic cups allows kids to see their seedlings grow and most herbs and veggies grow quickly so kids can see really fast results!

3. Make Easter a family day! Have a nice dinner and then spend the afternoon delivering your goodies from above, or going to a park or playing board games if the weather is bad. Keep the TV and computer off for the day and spend the day enjoying one another!

These are our ideas! What are yours? Comments are open!!